rugby  
Noun
A game played by cunts. A cunt’s game.
Itsallbollox dictionary 2007

Think of a ball. If I said to you, something was ball-shaped, what would you think? I’m guessing, ooh, let’s see, 100% of you,  will think of something spherical in shape. And not one of you, not ONE, will think of an egg.

an egg

Ok you pedantic egg chasing pricks, now I realise that in the dictionary a ball can be ovoid, but let’s be honest here, that has clearly been included just to appease the egg chasing fraternity. No one, and I mean NO ONE , thinks of an egg when they think of a ball. Tennis ball, cricket ball, golf ball, squash ball, foot balI, I could go on. ALL of them spherical /ball shaped.

a ball a ball a ball a ball God's ball

 Now I also understand that rugby  isn’t  the only “sport” that uses an egg for a ball. Let us not forget Aussie Rules. A game played by pikeys with mullets, with the comedy umpires running around(at least some amusement). Also, ofcourse, there’s American Football. A game where the “ball” gets in contact with the foot once every 10 minutes or so. Those ker-rayzee Americans, huh?  At least with these “sports” they are predominantly only played in their own country, and thus not subjected to the general public of the civilised world. The Americans, obviously, not wanting to play anything that they can’t guarantee themselves winning (World Series anyone?). So let them just get on with it.

Now as much as I respect these other egg games for their cuntishness, Rugby is something else.
Rugby, gets w-a-y out of hand. There’s even a world cup! * note to Americans This means that teams from around the WORLD can compete.
The Tri Nations, for the teams that are actually any good at the game.
There’s the five, no sorry, the SIX nations championship, now.
 What the fuck are the Italians doing? Italians love football, real football, the beautiful game, the game of the gods. and seem to be pretty damn good at it. Current world champions, and that’s without the help of  Jimmy Four Fingers and his referee fixers. Rugby? Let it go.It's not for you.

It’s just bollox.
Two teams of 15 meatheads, chasing an egg around a field for 80minutes, whilst trying to maim each other. Why don’t we just get the Christians and the lions back, for fuck sake!? Maybe “Twickers” (cunts) could show the current England team versus 15 rabid pitbulls. Just put an egg in there somewhere and let them get on with it. Now that’s something I would definitely watch.

Rugby is for cunts. FACT.

Now people seem to think that being from Wales, that I should automatically be fanatical about the game. Well, I think that BECAUSE I come from Wales, is why I hate the game so much. The thing is, it’s NOT just the game (which is cuntish enough). It’s the pricks who play it. Every Saturday, 15 pikey ,valley, meatheads, would descend onto the town, meet up with 15 pikey, local, meaheads, chase an egg around a muddy field for a while and try and hurt each other. And by this, I don’t mean like a hard tackle for a 50/50. I mean trying to gouge your opponents eye out, stamping on his head or body, biting, pinching. Fucking animals!

an Argentinian egg chaser gouging the eye of a Welsh agg chaser

You’d think this would be enough to  satisfy their appetite for animal behaviour, wouldn’t you? Well, you’d be fucking wrong. AFTER the match is where it really gets going. It’s off to the bar for drinks, and of course, drinking GAMES. But not your  average spoof of random spirits. These cunts end up with someone’s, or a collection of peoples vomit/piss. They will do their little ritual song and dance around it, and then some sick fuck will drink it. Drinking vomit. I’ll say it again, because it bears repeating. DRINKING VOMIT. Not because you have to, but because it’s laugh with your rugby mates, innit. The real reason why these people do this is actually quite simple, and is this:
They.
Are.
Cunts.
See how it all makes sense?
I’m not done yet, either.
After drinking obscene amounts of alcohol, it’s time to try and fuck one of the local slappers. And by this I mean, any drunk girl you can get behind the club, or skip or whatever skanky place you can find. Nice. And after the fumble with the slapper? Well now it’s time for a scrap. Remember also with rugby boys, generally it’s one in- all in. So you’ve got a near fucking riot on your hands. Windows smashed, claret everywhere, which unfortunately is not always that of a rugby twat. Some innocent local will almost always be in the wrong place with these pricks around, and have to take a pasting for no good reason.
See? It’s a cunt’s game, only in England, instead of being pikey valley meatheads, they’ll be posh cunts with homosexual tendencies. You’re still cunts.

It is believed that rugby was invented at Rugby School in 1823 when William Webb Ellis (1806-1872), son of James Ellis, a 3rd Dragoon Guards officer showed a "fine disregard for the rules of football ... took the ball in his arms and ran with it, thus originating the distinctive feature of the Rugby game".

So basically, some prick was so shit at football, he picked up the ball and ran with it. Now doing this, he knew he would  annoy all who were playing the beautiful game. He knew they would then chase him, catch him, and beat seven bells of shit out of him, all ending with one big heap of sweaty men. He knew all of this, and, being a public school, there were many who shared his homoeroticisms. And a cunt’s game was born.

One more thing. If there are any wankers out there who STILL think that rugby is NOT a cunt’s game, PLAYED by cunts, then explain this……..

...GAVIN HENSON.

End. Of. Argument.

It seems some people are not too convinced with our egg chasing argument. They’re wrong of course.

If rugby is game for cunts, then your love of cricket is for super cunts!

5 days played for a draw?

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

cunts!

Mike

Yes yes Mike, but imagine if it was played with an egg ?

Cricket is a wonderful summer sport. Played by jovial types with a good bit of banter. Watched in the sunshine, between trips to the bar, with not a Gavin Henson in sight.

 You are wrong. WRONG!!

Roberts

As you know, I agree with most of your rants, and have done for the best part of 17 years, but there are a couple of points you have over looked. We are the world champions. Yes it's not as important or as big as the football world cup, but we are still the world champions, and that is something we should be proud of, we beat the Frogs and the fucking Aussies in their own back yard.

Sharpy

The point here is not about being proud of your country’s achievements. I’m sure you were buzzing when you won the world cup. When Wales won the Grand Slam a couple of years ago, I was happy that my country had won. Myself and The Roberts consumed an outrageous amount of Becks Becks Becks whilst laughing at all the real egg fans. We did this after watching football I might add. The point is, it’s still egg chasing, and it’s still a cunt’s game.

Respect the gods.