A man once said, ”greed is good”. He’s dead now.

Ok first of all, let's get one thing straight before we start. This isn't a rant about people who are overweight, and by this, I mean a few extra pounds here and there, a bit of extra padding, podgy, chubby. We're all different shapes and sizes, I understand this. K? K.
EVERYONE, has the right to be  overweight. It's just that some people ABUSE THE FUCKING PRIVILAGE!! I'm talking about greed, gluttony, and obesity. FAT fuckers.

What the hell is wrong with these people?! Have they no self respect?! At what point do you realize you need to sort yourself out?! When you can't see your own feet? When you have to physically hold your stomach up to take a piss? Some people you see on tv need a fucking crane to winch them out of they're home! A CRANE!  At what point do you say NO to the 5th helping of pizza?! NO, I think I'm ok with my  3 litres of coke.
Because you know what? It's not fucking rocket science. It's not a big secret, and you don't need to follow any fad diet.
Atkins
F-plan
Low Carbs
whatever, forget all of 'em.
If you really really want to lose weight, then what you need to do, is this.
Ready?
STOP FUCKING EATING SO MUCH and MOVE AROUND MORE!!
It really is that simple folks. Eat less, move around more. It's wierd isn't it? When you think about it? If you sit on your FAT arse all day and night, eating and drinking SHIT, then whoah! look at that, you put on weight! How odd! Where as if you have a reasonably balanced diet, take a bit of excersise, then you don't. EASY!
And all the people who say things like,"I've hardly touched a thing". LIARS!! You GREEDY fucking LIARS!! Last night at half passed midnight, you went down stairs and ate an entire box of Mr Kiplings!! Not one cake, a WHOLE box, you FAT
CUNT!!
Or,"I just can't seem to shift any of this weight, no matter what I eat".
NO! I think what you'll find is, what you need to "shift", is your FAT FUCKING ARSE! Off the sofa and out of the house for some movement, you lazy bastard! ANY form of excersise will do. Just get off your LAZY FAT FUCKING ARSE!!
And what's with FAT cunts who think drinking diet coke is a wonder cure for losing weight?! If anything, it's meant to not put weight ON, not take weight OFF, you pricks! If you eat a Big Mac and fries, then  wash it down with a diet coke, (because hey, got to watch the calories, huh?) What the fuck is diet coke going to do?! Only FAT people drink diet coke.  

Fat people on transport.
Pay for two fucking seats if all your excess guts are going to spill all over my seat. There is NOTHING worse than sitting next to a FAT smelly(because let's be honest here, they go hand in hand) bastard for your entire journey. Just sitting there cursing them, thinking,"how did your parents let you get like this?". Well, the FAT fuck probably ate his parents. No self respect. If they're sitting in the isle seat of a plane, then you're pretty shafted trying to get out. The only good thing being if you DO happen to survive a crash, like on the film, "Alive", there'd be enough food to keep you going for about a year!

Why are we not allowed to make fun of fat people? Surely this is a good thing? As they still have the power to sort themselves out. Berate them enough, and maybe they WILL stop eating that fourth Big Mac, get up and move around a bit. Every cloud and all that.

There's actually an organization in the U.S, (suprise suprise) called NAAFA, that," is a non-profit human rights organization dedicated to improving the quality of life for fat people" . One of the purposes being to "Empower the large number of people regarded by the medical profession as "obese" to accept themselves, to live more fulfilling lives, and to promote acceptance of fat people within society" Getting obese people to accept themselves? Wouldn't it be better to encourage and support them into losing weight, and getting healthier? Instead of encouraging them to eat themselves into an early grave? Do you get this kind of "support" with annorexia? Are people encouraged to STAY annorexic? No, they're encouraged to eat, and build up self esteem, and eventually to lead a normal healthy life.  If you want to "improve the quality of life" for obese people, encourage them to lose  weight, get a little healthier! Just follow the 12 step program shown at near the bottmom. Easy.

As for peole who say, "I'm happy the way I am". You lying, lazy fuckers! Because you can guarantee, if there were pills that would take off the 10 extra stone these lazy pricks need to shed, they'd be fucking necking 'em like the pizza they can't wait to shove down their FAT fucking mouth. But it's easier to just say,"well it's just how I am, accept me… Are you not going to finish that?". It's the organizations like NAAFA are to blame.

FAT people wearing tight clothes!! Now I realize that some people are SO FAT that EVERYTHING is going to look tight, but please, FAT girls wearing leggings?!!! MAKE IT STOP!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!  What are you THINKING? Are you TRYING to put everyone off their food? So you can then
eat whatevers left, you FAT fucks! 

And what's with Celebrity Fit Club? Why all of a sudden is it "fit" club and not "FAT" club like it started? Because if there's one thing these fuckers are not, it's fit. Also Andy Fordham is NOT a celebrity. He's a FAT darts player for fuck sake!

WHY, do FAT  people, STILL,  refer to themselves as "cuddly"? FOR FUCK SAKE!! YOU. ARE. NOT. CUDDLY.
YOU. ARE. DELUSIONAL.
YOU. FAT. PIECE. OF. SHIT.
Yeah, because I just LOVE to hug an enormous piece of LARD! Mmm, doesn't that sound inviting?
Cuddly? Bollox!!

SO,  here's my diet plan for any FAT fuck who wants to lose weight. Guaranteed.
Just follow these 12 simple steps:

1.Don't eat so much.

2.Stop drinking coke.

3.Eat more fruit and veg.

4.Don't eat so much.

5.Never eat a whole box of cakes to yourself. EVER.

6.Get up off your FAT arse and do some excersise.

7.Drink more water.

8.Don't eat so much.

9.Stop lying to yourself, and others, about how much you eat. It's fucking obvious.

10.Next time you're at the shops, DON'T put in the family size chocolate bar that you know you won't leave alone until it's gone...on the first night!! Get a normal size one.

11. Don't blame the horrendous state you have let yourself get into on a, "gland problem"

12. STOP FUCKING EATING SO MUCH!!

 THIS  WORKS. FACT.

Good day.

Adult obesity rates have almost quadrupled in the last 25 years. Now 22% of Britons are obese and three-quarters are overweight

Over 30,000 deaths a year are caused by obesity in England alone. A study by the National Audit Office in 2002 estimated the condition costs the NHS £500 million a year. The overall cost to the country is estimated at up to £7.4 billion a year.