Ah, spammers.  At a time when we’re sent so many junk e-mails and spam, doesn’t it just make your fucking day? When you open up an e- mail from a friend, and you get one of these steaming mounds of faeces?
You know what I mean? The forwarded e-mails that require you to forward them on to, say, 10 people you know in the next 5 minutes, after wasting your time for the last 5! The worst ones being, where you have questions, and then answers to complete. A little test about you.
You now start wasting your time filling this shit out. Time, I mad add, that could’ve been used more productively. Like surfing for porn.
So you waist your time doing this shit, hoping it’s going to be something  mildly amusing. It isn’t. It never is. I KNOW what my favourite colour is! I KNOW which people are important to me! And I don’t give FUCK what my LUCKY NUMBER IS!!

After going through this complete cluster fuck. After the feeling of disappointment and nausea is passing, you notice you’re meant to now forward it on to at least 10 people you know, in the next five minutes. If you do this (and I’m guessing this is the selling point), you’ll receive a “guardian angel” that will look over you, or “2 years good luck”.
It’s JUNK. It’s SPAM. Don’t we have enough shit to trawl through?SOMEONE MAKE IT STOP!!
I’ve done these things and they’re SHIT! I’ve sent them on to claim my angel and good luck. They haven’t fucking worked! I should, quite rightly, have 5 angels looking out for me, and officially 10 Years of good luck! So WHERE was my fucking angel the other week when I got so drunk I  shagged a fat bird?! And in April when I was drinking a flaming sambouca and I set my face on fire. WHERE THE FUCK WERE THEY? I don’t call that lucky.
And if you DON’T forward these on, what then? Are we all to get fucked in the ass by satan and his big red cock every full moon?  WHO MAKES THE RULES HERE?

It has to be said of these e-mails mind you:

They’re mostly sent by women…
…mostly.

FACT

Ever had a bloke send you pictures of kittens?
You check your mailbox, and see how many of these monstrous pieces of shit have been left by a bloke. Not a lot , or none I reckon, or at least hope. Ok, if you’re a woman and have received one from a bloke friend/colleague, then fair enough. He’s obviously trying to get into your knickers. Trying to show you he’s in touch with his feminine side, you can laugh together. Hey, he’s sensitive, and deep. Sorry.  Bottom line is. He wants to fuck you. If you’re a man and have received one from another man ? Then  of course, he’s gay.

So PLEASE stop sending this banal trash. If I want to waist my time, I don’t want to be reading questions, and filling things in(especially if you have to tell the truth).  That’s far too much like work. Next time you send something, make sure there’s something funny in it, or say, football, or porn.
I don’t know who makes all the questions for these? Why our answers mean anything other than jack shit?  Or who comes up with the prizes? What I do know is, they must be stopped.
So, here’s what you do when you come across one of these carrier bags full of piss.
DELETE.
DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE …I could go on, but you get the picture.

Now forward this on to at least 10 people you know, and you will receive…………..